1. "Do I have to plug the phone line into the computer?" 2. "How do I get to the DOS prompt on my Mac?" 3. "I'm having trouble telneting to Mizzou1." 4. "I typed 'chmod 000' and now I get 'permission denied.'" 5. "I'm the one who called a little while ago with a problem!" 6.- I press [Connect] and it connects normally. Then I press [Disconnect] and then I run Netscape, but it does not work... - Why did you press [Disconnect]? - Because when I press [Connect] it changes to [Disconnect]. 7. What does it mean when it says my disk is full? 8. You mean I have to push ENTER? 9. I call the modem pool and I hear this sound like a fax. 10. What time does the basketball game start? 11. You keep telling me to change directory but I don't know how to do that. 12. I have a questions about my printer. Okay. Is it possible, ya think? 13. What is snail mail and who would have an address that might let me have someone send something to me via it? 14. My monitor is turning black, do I have to change the light bulb? 15. I dial up but I never get the 'crunchy noise.' 16. A certain individual (whom shall be nameless) left a resume for Mary to consider. Weeks later, he calls and wants it back. Mary tells him she'll try to find it. He then calls again saying he needs it by 4 o'clock. 17. The user has been whining about getting a new computer for weeks, so we finally give her a new (at the time) DX2/66 tower unit. She comes back a bit later and asks that we take the "box" away. None of her friends have a "box", she explains, and she'd rather we put it somewhere else. I go to her desk and discover the "box" is the new tower unit, sitting under her desk out of her way. As patiently as possible, I explain to her that that is her computer (that the monitor is not) and if we took it away, she couldn't do anything. She glares at the box balefully for a moment, and then turns to me and says morosely "But it gave me a run in my nylons! I can't have that!" As calmly as possible, I said nothing and just left.