1. I don't know.

 2. Reboot.

 3. Post the question to comp.sys.sgi.admin (oops, I gave away the vendor)

 4. Your system won't come up, so would you rate this as a serious problem? 

 5. We cannot email the information from our computer, but we can fax it.

 6. "Gee, our software never did THAT before!".

 7. It's not our software causing the problem, it's your system.

 8. It's not our system causing the problem, it's the software.

 9. Unix? Nobody wants to deal with that here.

10. Someone will get back to you!

11. Tech support person asks a caller if her co-worker that uses the same 
    product "under windows" has the same problem. Caller says "thats it! 
    Bob's PC is next to a window, so I need to move mine to next to a 
    window".

12. Caller: "Uh, yeah.  One of the students in (a classroom) sat down at a 
            computer and typed 'menu' and the machine popped loudly and 
            started belching smoke."
    Helpdesk Tech: "Tell none of the other students to type menu."

13. user: Uh, what?! Type commands, on the COMPUTER??
    me: Ehr, yes...
    user: But we don't HAVE a keyboard for the computer

14. (The Names have been changed to protect the inicent)
    1st Level Support: So how do you want me to get the information to you.
    ADMIN: Just e-mail to me at steve@email.com
    1st Level Support: Oh, That OLD method. Is that upper or lower case?
    ADMIN: Yes it is: StEvE@EmAiL.CoM
    1st Level Support: Wow, That's one of the harder ones to remember.

15. Reinstall the OS

16. A Technical Support question from a user was:
       "You mean I have to have the modem plugged into the wall?"
    She thought that it would work by pointing the modem port towards the 
    wall phone jack.

17. USER: I am having a problem connecting to a UNIX computer, I think the 
    WAN is down.
    HD: Let me get UNIX support.
    USER: I AM UNIX support!  
    HD: OH, what did you say the problem is?
    USER: I am having a problem connecting to a UNIX computer, I think the 
    WAN is down.
    HD: WAN?  Could you spell that?